HI, I'M STACEY
I'M SO GLAD YOU FOUND ME!
Have you ever had that something is missing feeling?
You've ticked all the boxes and achieved 'success' but you don't feel as happy as you think you 'should' be?
So, you try something new. You chase the next goal, sign up for another project, or pivot your focus, hoping that this time it will do the trick. But the empty feeling remains and it feels like no matter what you accomplish, true fulfilment and happiness stay out of reach.
If this sounds like you, know that you're not alone. I've been there. I know exactly how suffocating this feels, and more importantly I know how to break free from it.
This is why I dedicate my life to coaching thoughtful, capable women who look successful on paper but feel lost in their own lives. Women who have spent years following the rules, meeting everyone else's expectations, played the ‘good girl’ role, and are now ready to take back control of their own future.
At the heart of my work is a deep desire to help you break free from a life that doesn’t feel like their own. A life that looks impressive from the outside but feels heavy on the inside. A life curated around societal pressures and other people’s expectations.
Because that was once me.
I know what it's like to have no idea who you truly are or what you actually want beneath all the conditioning. I also know how to dismantle those old belief systems so you can step into the woman you want to be, trade self-doubt for self-trust, and build a life you won't look back at with regret.
Here's my story.
MY SURVIVING TO THRIVING STORY
HOW I WENT FROM DROWNING UNDER EXPECTATIONS TO REGRET-FREE LIVING.
Awareness is the first step to any transformation.
People have always fascinated me, so as soon as I discovered there was a subject dedicated to learning all about how we function and what makes us human, I knew I had to study it. So, at the age of 18, off I went to Liverpool to learn all I could about our mind, brain and behaviour. I had no idea the impact this would have, not just on myself but on everyone around me.
My time at university was the first time I realised that we have the ability to control our own thoughts, feelings and behaviours; we can actually decide how something impacts us, rather than simply accepting how we feel as the truth. This made me curious about how I might be able to control myself on a deeper level - what would happen if instead of simply living on autopilot I stopped to actually think before speaking or acting, and made conscious decisions about things instead of them just being what they were? I started to think about how I wanted to show up in the world, and as a result I started to see that I actually did have control, more so than what I first thought. This realisation started to chip away at the thought system I grew up with, learning that in fact life wasn't just happening to me, I had some degree of control over it.
After that I started to identify thought patterns and beliefs that I didn't like about myself, or the way I saw the world. I identified small changes I could make that would have a positive impact, tested the impact of these new ways of thinking, and bit by bit I started to become the person I wanted to be. Being curious and digging deeper into my own mindset helped me discover the power we hold in our own beliefs and values. Learning Cognitive Behaviour Therapy and Neuro-Linguistic Programming enhanced my belief that this was the case and allowed me to go deeper in my own transformation, especially around pain management and overcoming trauma. But there was still a piece missing. I didn't realise it at the time but I wasn't actually living my own life. I was living the life I thought other people wanted for me and as a result I was drowning under the pressure of expectations. I felt trapped, had no idea who I actually was, or what I actually wanted, and ultimately lacked the confidence to be my true authentic self.
We can't always control what happens to us in life, but we can control how we respond to it.
It wasn't until I found coaching that I realised how much of an impact my beliefs and fear of stepping outside of the 'good girl' role and expectations (from myself, my friends, my family, my colleagues, society) were having on my life and work. Even though I now considered myself to be self-aware, I still didn’t see how much of a hold they had on me. They were crippling. I thought I had to be a certain person and act in a certain way. I could never make a mistake or do anything wrong and if I ever did anything to upset anyone I would beat myself up about it for an eternity. As a result, I lacked the confidence and self-belief to have my own voice and so was living the life other people wanted for me, the life society said you should strive for. Then one day a colleague who was studying to be a coach asked me if I wanted to be a practice client. I jumped at the opportunity to learn more about myself and it was this experience that led to the discovery that my own belief system was keeping be trapped and making me feel powerless when in fact the only person who could change my reality, was me.
Coaching helped me break free from the thought patterns and belief systems that were holding me back from taking a risk and believing in myself. It provided me with a clear direction to take in life and work, and most importantly it helped me build a strong sense of who I was and empowered me to stay true to that so that I was no longer willing to compromise myself to please others. It was in that discovery that I decided I wouldn’t settle for a mediocre life. I would do what it takes to live a life of no regrets, and I would love myself in the process.
"I STARTED LISTENING TO WHAT I ACTUALLY WANTED AND LEARNED WHO I ACTUALLY WAS, AND BIT BY BIT I CREATED A LIFE THAT DIDN'T JUST LOOK SUCCESSFUL ON THE OUTSIDE, BUT IT FELT SUCCESSFUL ON THE INSIDE TOO."
It takes a small change today to see a big change tomorrow.
Over time, and as my skills and experience deepened, I shifted gears towards deeper transformation. Rather than just re-framing what wasn't serving me, I wanted to hit the source - my core belief system and how it influenced my entire world. I wanted to truly understand and manage the baggage I carried from my past experiences, and self-actualise into the best possible version of myself - not just for me, but for the people around me. And that's the journey I still find myself on.
Today I can honestly say that I live a life true to myself; a life I am proud of, and a life I know I won't regret. It's not always easy though. I still have periods where my unconscious takes the driving seat and my inner critic beats me with a stick. I won't say that my journey is over because I don't believe it ever will be. What I will say is that going from surviving to thriving and all the lessons you learn along the way, really is transformational. You learn everything you need to live a regret-free life, and develop the toolkit of techniques that will help you when times get tough. You learn to love the person you see in the mirror unconditionally, and you show up for the people you love in the best possible way.
Coaching has quite simply changed my life and I feel privileged to be able to help and support others to change theirs too.